I knew I was getting “older” when I heard myself say, “What is going on with this young generation! We would never have been allowed to…” You fill in the blank. While it may be a sign of aging, this statement also points us toward a reality: we have a Generation in Crisis! Children and teens today are experiencing a revolution in culture that is changing the way they see life. We have discussed Crisis 1: the Sexual Revolution and Crisis 2: the Drug/Alcohol Revolution. Today I want to move on to Crisis 3: a Self-Image Revolution.
Every child and teenager has to determine who they are and who they are going to be. This quest for self-identity is normal for all adolescents. Self-identity is formed in childhood and solidifies in Middle School and High School.
Our children will continually ask themselves, “Who am I?” Influences in life force them to ask the question repeatedly. Some of those influences include peers, school, media, church, parents, and hormones. Each of these influences has a different effect on how our children think about themselves. Try to think about how these influences affected you as an adolescent. Think about how they still influence you today.
What can we do to help our children develop a positive self-image? It is never too early to start! Encourage your child to discover who he is. Begin by redirecting the question from “Who am I?” to “Whose am I?”
First, everyone belongs to the Lord. Teach your children that fact from the beginning of their life. God created them and knows them better than they know themselves. As a child of God, their worth is limitless. (Psalm 139:1-18). Teach your children that God has great plans for their lives (Jeremiah 29:11). They are created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). God causes all things to work for good in their lives, even in the most difficult circumstances (Romans 8:28-29).
Then emphasize to your child that they belong to your family. Reassure them that they will always be your child; that your love will never cease. Love your children unconditionally (1 Corinthians 13). Give your child the legacy of your last name. That legacy won’t be perfect, but as parents you can define your family name by the love, grace, and discipline you show to your children.
Begin instilling these things in your children as soon as you can, so that when they are pushed about by the winds of culture, they have a rock-solid identity rooted in Jesus Christ. It is our job as parents and as the church to teach our children and teens that they are beautiful creations of God and are deeply loved by Him and by others. When children and teens understand this, they can push back against the influences and lies of culture that want them to be something they were never created to be!