Don't Forget to say, "I Love You!"
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (New Living Translation) “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
Valentine’s Day is Friday, so “Love is in the air!” If you don’t believe me, take a quick run through your local Wal Mart…the Valentine’s Day aisles are full of candy, cards, stuffed animals, perfume, all kinds of food, and every other possible goody imaginable. Well, at least the aisles WERE full of those things. By now the aisles look pretty picked over and empty, so if you haven’t shopped yet, it might be slim pickings for you. Sorry…
At this love-filled time of year, I wanted to take a minute to remind you that we should always be thinking about love. We are called to love others because God first loved us. (1 John 4:19). And often we take love for granted. Think about our children, for example. If someone asked us if we love our children, we would likely answer, “Of course!” I want to ask you a different question, though. When is the last time you told them or showed them you loved them? And not just a quick “love you” as you turned off the light at night… It is important to every child’s well-being to know, really know, that they are loved.
Gary Chapman has a book called The Five Love Languages. In it he describes ways to keep others’ love tanks full by using their personal love language in interactions with them. Here is a brief look at the five ways you can fill up your child’s love tank. Do you know which works best for your child?
- Words of affirmation. When we are raising children, it can be so easy to fall into a cycle of criticism and correction. If overdone, this can be devastating to their little hearts. Make sure that you praise your child every chance you get! Even on those days when it is hard to find the good, determine to find at least two things a day to complement them on!
- Quality time. Children want us to spend time with them, focused on the things they love to do. Discover their favorite things and DO them WITH them. Give your child your undivided attention for at least a small portion of each day. Make it a priority. You won’t regret it, and your child will remember it!
- Receiving gifts. I know that giving gifts can be overdone and can lead to spoiled children but giving gifts occasionally and thoughtfully can help a child feel special and loved. The next time you give your child a special gift, make sure you express your love verbally as you give it to them.
- Acts of service. I know. You are constantly performing acts of service for your kiddo! It never ends! But maybe there is a task that is particularly meaningful to your child. Make sure that when you do it, you let them know you love them. Choose a task that is not your favorite but is important to your child. They will see your love in action.
- Physical touch. Hugs, kisses, tickles, appropriate touches are very important to fill up a child’s love tank. Remember your child’s temperament and learn what is best for them. As your child grows, their needs in this area may change. I have a teenager at home who is no longer interested in me hugging him in public. It is my job to find other times and ways to let him know he is loved. A high-five, touch on the arm, pat on the back, all go a long way in filling his tank. Know your child and find a way to maintain a regular habit of physical touch for affirmation.
Don’t let Valentine’s Day be the main time of the year you focus on love. Make sure you are filling up your child’s love tank on a regular basis, preferably daily! This will allow your kiddo to grow into an emotionally well-adjusted adult. He/she will thank you for it one day!